I can't describe how I am feeling at this minutes. Probably it feel like a million knife is stabbing on me, on my heart. Twenty-five month of ups and down wasn't easy, we fight through every possibilities together. But, it seem like I am going to fight it myself now. I feel so disappointed with everything that's happening. I just can't accept it, I don't know how do you love me, and like someone else in between. Maybe I call that passing feeling, it could be you do like her, and on the other hand you think you still love me, but actually it was just a habit. Or maybe it's just a crush.
When you're at your lowest point she was there, maybe that's why the feeling come. It could also be I didn't give you the attention you needed. I don't blame you actually, I hate myself for letting this happen to me. Words just can't describe how I hate myself now. I am not comparing her with me now, because I know she could be way better then me. The only thing I can be sure is, she wont love you like how I do.
She won't take your temper like how I did. She won't be able to take your drunk temper like how I did, she won't be the one to wash your clothing, and accepting your untidiness like I do. She won't be the one to understand your "brother come first" kind of logic. I tried to hide how I feel, but it hurt me so badly if I dont voice out.
I just don't understand why after the trust I have given you, you decided to took it just away like this. Yes you didn't cheat me physically but, emotionally you have already did. And it pains me more than anything. Because I wasn't ready to accept it, I wasn't ready to hear it from you. Because I believe you ain't the same.
Thanks for being honest to me, but I really need plenty time to think how it will not kill me no more...
--
郭靜(Claire) - 知道
她讓你憔悴許多 她讓你不知所措
她一舉一動你不停的對我說
我微笑傾聽你說 我卻越聽越心痛
怎麼你說的不是我
她比我多了什麼 讓你願意耐心等候
我想知道她讓你痴心是什麼
我想知道她讓你瘋狂為什麼
我知道做的和她沒有不同
但是我 卻不在你心中 逗留
我想知道她哪裡比我好很多
在你心中她和我有什麼不同
我知道我比她付出的還多
可是我 總換不了你的 心動
你讓我憔悴很多 你讓我不知所措
你一舉一動我的心被牽著走
她不經意的走過 你就把我給冷落
嫉妒把我給吞沒
她比我多了什麼 讓你願意耐心等候
我想知道她讓你痴心是什麼
我想知道她讓你瘋狂為什麼
我知道做的和她沒有不同
但是我 卻不在你心中 逗留
我想知道她哪裡比我好很多
在你心中她和我有什麼不同
我知道我比她付出的還多
可是我 總換不了你的 心動
我知道了她哪裡比我好更多
在你心中我永遠不可能會讓你心動
我知道我比她付出的還多
可是我 在你心中沒有 她多
